Circus of Thieves and the Raffle of Doom by William Sutcliffe

Author:William Sutcliffe [Sutcliffe, William and Tazzyman, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781471120244
Publisher: Simon & Schuster UK

A few more voices responded this time.

‘Perhaps I should ask one more time,’ said Armitage. ‘My question was, ARE . . .’ (whipcrack!) ‘. . . YOU . . .’ (whipcrack, twirl, somersault, double whipcrack!) ‘. . . READY?’

‘YESSSSS!’ screamed Hannah, at the top of her voice, and Granny, and every single other person in the Big Top.

Armitage rested one hand on his hip, and slowly, critically, began to stroke his chin. ‘Mmmm,’ he said. ‘Sounds like we sold maybe half the tickets this evening. That’s a shame. I do so hate a flat atmosphere. Maybe I should ask one last time. Are you . . . those of you who happen to be awake . . . and I do so hate to repeat myself . . . but would you mind terribly if I just checked . . . are any of you . . . by any chance . . . ready?’

‘YEEEESSSSSS!!!!’

The sound was deafening. Hannah had never made so much noise in her life. Granny shouted so loud, her false teeth fell out of her mouth and onto her lap. Every single person in the tent had given that ‘yes’ everything they had, and more, with cherries on top and whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.

‘Oh,’ said Armitage, as if mildly surprised. ‘That’s good. But ready for what?’

Silence fell. Softly, a drum roll began.

‘Are you ready, by any chance, to be amazed?’

Armitage began to pace the perimeter of the ring, which was now fully illuminated, doing an unusual prancey walk of enormous strides with each step crossing over the path of the previous one.

‘Are you ready to be thrilled? Are you ready to be astonished and astounded, stunned, startled, surprised, staggered and stupefied? Amused and confused? Are you ready to be delighted and excited? Wooed and wowed? Titillated and titivated, teased and tricked? Are you? Well, are you?’

‘YEEEESSSSSS!!!!’

‘Good. Because that means we are all in the right place. And so . . . ’ (whipcrack) ‘ . . . with no further ado . . .’ (whipcrack, cartwheel, somersault, spin, whipcrack whipcrack whipcrack) ‘ . . . I bring to you . . . the incredible . . . the devastating . . . the quite spectacularly splendiferous . . . Maaauuuurrrrrrrrrrrrice and Irrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrena!’

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